Our Story

Daniel needs no introduction really, he's known Aisling almost the longest (I'll give that title to Carol).

It was sometime in the early 1990s — back when sleep was considered more of a suggestion than a necessity — when I first met Aisling. For the first few days and months of her life, we developed what can only be described as a deeply impractical lifestyle choice: waking at 3:00am (a time traditionally reserved for bakers, insomniacs, and questionable decisions) to wander around the flat quietly singing, as if participating in an avant-garde silent musical no one had commissioned. We’d gaze out over the lights of San Diego Embarcadero and the airport from Bankers Hill, convinced we were soulful, harmonious, and possibly profound. In reality, we were mostly just tired and slightly unhinged. Still, those odd little hours were doing something important — quietly laying the groundwork for a lifelong bond. Meanwhile, Aisling efficiently progressed into the formidable, passionate force she is today — though, in retrospect, the 3:00am singing phase should probably have been logged somewhere as an early indicator.

Fast forward to the early 2020s, when Atlas made his entrance. He arrived calm, polite, and quietly confident — the kind of person who says ‘please’ and doesn’t appear to be doing it sarcastically. I first encountered him when he appeared alongside Aisling and a group of friends to enjoy Apple Day at Cultybraggan Camp near our village. At that point, I had no idea they were a couple. To be fair, if Max’s account is accurate, they themselves may still have been in the beta-testing phase of that realisation. Nothing quite like mutual ambiguity to kick-start a romance.

As it turns out, they are impressively well matched. Shared interests, shared friends, and — slightly concerningly — already labelled by some of those friends as ‘surrogate parents.’ This, by extension, promotes me to ‘surrogate grandparent,’ a role I accept with dignity, curiosity, and a growing sense that I may need a spreadsheet to keep track of everyone. The family, frankly, is scaling faster than expected.

Naturally, in an age of fast fashion and equally fast everything else, one must guard against the emergence of a ‘fast family’ — stylish, convenient, and alarmingly disposable. To their credit, Aisling and Atlas opted for a more rigorous testing protocol: a three-week road trip around Ireland… in a tent… in relentless rain. Not charming, cinematic drizzle — proper, morale-testing, waterproof-defying rain. The kind that seeps not just into your clothes but into your decision-making. And yet, astonishingly, they endured. When they finally arrived in Schull, West Cork to meet Carol and me, they were not only still speaking but appeared to be doing so voluntarily. They were even smiling, which felt statistically unlikely. At that point, I was prepared to classify the relationship as structurally sound.

But there was more. Atlas was then introduced to my side of the family — a large, enthusiastic, multi-continental operation best described as ‘extensive.’ He also met Carol’s close family in Ireland, because clearly we felt he hadn’t been tested quite enough. This was, by any reasonable metric, a high-pressure scenario. And yet Atlas held steady. No visible panic, no strategic retreat. Instead, he somehow managed to charm everyone and was promptly embraced. At this stage, we began to consider two possibilities: either he is genuinely exceptional, or he has nerves of steel.

Then came the moment that genuinely caught us off guard. Atlas, displaying both tradition and excellent judgment, messaged Carol and me to ask for our blessing to propose to Aisling. It was thoughtful, unexpected, and emotionally disarming — producing symptoms not entirely unlike the day Aisling was born. (For the record: absolutely no crying occurred. None. Ignore any evidence to the contrary.)

What followed, however, was an unexpected pause of a couple of weeks before the proposal itself. I’ll admit, there were moments I considered checking in — purely from a project management perspective — to see if timelines had slipped or priorities had shifted. But eventually, the proposal did happen. Aisling said yes. Order was restored.

And just like that, Atlas was formally absorbed into the family. I now have a daughter and two sons, which is both deeply gratifying and a clear signal that I should begin embracing my new role: turning up unannounced, offering unsolicited advice, and generally being ‘helpful’ in ways that may or may not be requested. It’s tradition, after all.

Max is a big part of how we met, and insists quite strongly that we backdate our dating anniversary by a good few months, so who better to tell you what really happened?

Atlas and Aisling met on November 10th, 2022 in Perth, Scotland. To be more specific, it was between the hours of 6.30pm and 10.30pm at the now-closed Tim Hortons on Dunkeld road in Perth, Scotland. You see, they were both members of Rock 'n' Books, a queer book group based in Perth, and while Atlas was a regular member of this group, Aisling had actually never attended a meetup before, thinking that there would be too many people present (though in reality the group at that time didn't have that many regular members). 

But it was at this same book group that Atlas and a friend (that's me, hi!) decided to create Rock 'n' Dragons, a spin-off TTRPG group where members of the local queer community (and themselves too of course) could play more Dungeons and Dragons, a game that they had been playing together for a while, and wanted an excuse to play more of. The first meetup of this new group was held at that Tim Hortons, on November 10th 2022, 6.30-10.30pm... I think you see where I'm going with this... 

Thinking that there would be a smaller number of people in this group, Aisling decided to come along and join a campaign.. only to be met by around 10 tables with 15-20 people crammed together making characters, quite a bit more than the usual attendance of Rock 'n' Books. Nonetheless she stayed, and her and Atlas joined the same campaign, "Lost Mine of Phandelver". Atlas playing a Fire Genasi Monk called Lochran, and Aisling an incredibly chaotic Forest Gnome Barbarian named Tala (and me DMing, hi again!). During the course of these games their characters bonded, especially as Tala enjoyed jumping aboard Lochran as he sped off into combat (and then trying to save him as he consequently nearly died each time), and as their characters got to know each other better, so did Atlas and Aisling. 

Now previously Atlas had always said that he hated people being in his personal space, and much preferred having his alone time, but he was informed that after having top surgery he would need other people with him to help out as he recovered (the conversation of "how are you going to cope with needing to have someone in your flat all the time?" "I don't know, it's going to suuuck" springs to mind here)- be that as it may, he accepted what needed to happen, and arranged for Aisling and some friends from the Parrots to alternate staying with him during this time. 

In late August 2023 (on the 21st to be specific) Atlas and a friend (that's me again, hi!) headed down to Newcastle for his surgery. After being checked in and meeting with the surgeon, there was a very long wait until his surgery actually happened, and with Atlas's friends all keen for updates, Aisling acted as the liaison, getting messages to pass on and offering to purchase snacks and essentials for when Atlas returned home (and receiving such informative responses such as "I extended your offer of getting snacks earlier, and [Atlas] just flopped face down on the bed and said 'I don't knowwwwww'"). But despite the grumpiness from the hunger and long wait, the surgery eventually happened, and all went well! The next day Atlas headed home, meeting Aisling at his flat, where she (along with other friends) stayed with him, making sure that he didn't raise his arms above his head while he was recovering (and of course helping with the general day-to-day stuff, you know, like getting food and making sure the compression binder was on properly). 

Here's the thing though, despite being someone who had so often said that he preferred having his alone time, him and Aisling continued to spend the majority of their time together, even after he recovered fully- they stayed over at each others flats, ate most meals together, made plans for outings, and Aisling even became a member of the Parrots social committee (though she could not be convinced to join the actual sport itself, despite Atlas's and the other Parrots many attempts). It soon became the norm that when you would message one, you would find out that the other was there too; yet still they were somehow in denial about the fact that they spent approximately 98.5% of their free time together (and denying it with statements like, "your radar for messaging us when we're together is uncanny", as if they weren't just together all of the time). 

So while Atlas and Aisling say that they started their relationship on November 12th 2023, it is clear to anyone who knew them that they actually started dating months before that, they just took a while to admit it to each other. Either way, having been friends with them both from before they got together (with all the "we're definitely not dating", "so you were right, we are in a relationship", and "we got engaged!" stages in between), I can assuridly say that I have never met two people who are more well suited together as Atlas and Aisling. The past 3+ years have seen them co-running/co-creating multiple groups together (with me, hi again!), playing the same characters in that same Dungeons and Dragons campaign, lots of walks and swimming outings, attending Pride and other social events, going on holidays, adopting a lot of their friends as their children, supporting each other and said adopted children through tough times and celebrating good ones, and of course getting teased relentlessly about being married before they even started dating. They have been the most wonderful and kind people, and I am so thankful to have the privilege of being one of their friends. 

Atlas and Aisling, I know I always joke about it taking you so long to figure out that you were dating, but I am so glad that you did. I'm so happy for the both of you, and wish you all the happiness in the world. May your marriage be as strong and loving as your friendship always has been ♡